How to Take Care of a Newborn During the Night
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Nights with a baby are really hyped up, and reasonably so, to a point. The nights do feel different than the days: you're tired and ready to sleep, but your baby doesn't always get the memo. So what do nights with a newborn look like? What are some things you should expect to do during the night?
In this article, we'll cover:
What to expect during the night with a newborn
How to get baby to sleep
How to take care of a newborn during the night
How to get help with nights with your baby
What to Expect During the Night with a Newborn
Newborns wake frequently- and that's normal!
They have tiny stomachs that digest (especially breastmilk) quickly, making them hungry more frequently. Plus, they have the biological need to make sure you're still around to take care of them. The first night after birth, baby might be pretty sleepy, especially if you received any medications during labor. On days 2-5 or so, baby will start to feel more hungry, but if you're breastfeeding, your colostrum is still transforming into mature milk. Baby wants that milk to come in now, so they will nurse very frequently, encouraging that process. Those nights (and days), baby will sleep in short bursts and will nurse in between. This is called cluster feeding- and don't worry, it gets better! Once your milk comes in and baby can get a larger volume of milk with each feed, you'll notice baby appear "milk drunk" and pass out after eating. This is the goal! If you're bottle feeding, baby will still wake frequently, though maybe not as often. You'll feed them small amounts at a time.
After day 5 or so, we expect baby to wake up at least every 2-3 hours.
You'll want to wake up baby approximately every 2 hours if needed until they are back up to birth weight (around 1-2 weeks). After they are back up to birth weight, gaining weight well, and seem content, you can let baby sleep as long as they can. Some babies wake more frequently than others, and every baby goes through developmental changes and phases that cause sleep to look different. Just remember: it's normal for babies to wake up during the night! This isn't something that needs to be fixed.
You might actually notice that getting up with your baby isn't so bad, at least at first.
The new baby feels exciting, and if you had insomnia during pregnancy, you might be used to getting up during the night anyway. There are ways to help you get some better sleep as well- stay tuned for more info about that! Sometimes it does feel hard to get up during the night, but it will get better! If the nights feel too rough, I have some ways to get additional help at the end of this article.
Newborns can be noisy sleepers!
They grunt and wiggle and sometimes cry out in their sleep. Especially while you're getting used to your baby, every noise can make you think, "Are you awake now?" They'll get quieter as they get older, and you'll soon be able to differentiate their noises better. Side note: If your baby sounds congested or like they're having a hard time breathing, I recommend talking to an airway specialist that works with newborns to make sure they're breathing okay. Some babies I have cared for as a postpartum doula sound like little piggies- but snoring isn't normal! Airway specialists and myofascial therapists can help give you exercises and options to help your baby breathe better.
At least in the first few weeks, your baby should fall back asleep pretty easily.
Baby will likely fall asleep while eating, then you can transfer them back to their sleep area. This can change around 3 or 4 months due to developmental processes, but hopefully your baby's sleep won't be disrupted too much. Remember, everything is a phase!
Getting Baby to Sleep
Starting Bedtime
Whenever you decide it's bedtime- anywhere from 7-9pm or so, you can start to implement a bedtime routine. Having a routine can help baby know what to expect and make the nights smoother.
Change Baby’s Diaper
To start the routine, change baby's diaper and dress them in the clothes they'll wear for sleep. Babies typically cry during diaper changes for a while, but that's okay! Calmly talk or sing to your baby to reassure them that it'll be okay.
Dress Baby
Once baby is dressed, you can swaddle them in your preferred swaddle. I like ones that zip or Velcro, rather than traditional swaddle blankets, as those are a hassle to redo during the night and can become unsafe if the wrap becomes undone. You'll use a swaddle until baby is about 3 months old, or whenever they start rolling.
Sleep Associations
You can decide on a couple sleep associations to include in your bedtime routine. This can include things like turning on a sound machine, turning off the lights, reading a book, singing a song, rocking in the rocking chair, etc. The things you do each bedtime will help baby associate those with feeling sleepy.
Feed Baby
It's totally okay to feed your baby to sleep. You'll hear other people say you shouldn't, but as a Postpartum Doula, Integrative Lactation & Feeding Specialist, and most importantly, a mom, I'm letting you know that you don't have to make things harder for yourself. Babies fall asleep while eating and we don't need to try to fight that. So get cozy with your baby, feed them in the best way that works for you, and appreciate the natural way to get them to sleep.
Transfer to Bed
After baby is asleep and you've gotten your snuggle fix, you can put baby in their bassinet, crib, or other sleep surface. To help with this transition, you can have an electric heating pad that you turn on during the bedtime routine (and upon getting baby up during the night), and removing/ turning off before putting baby back to bed. The residual warmth from the heating pad can help baby's bed feel more cozy and welcoming. You can also gently rock baby's stomach, rub their head, or just have your hand on their chest for a moment to help them settle in. If baby has a hard time transitioning back to bed, the next time you try, you can wait a little longer to make sure they're more deeply asleep before trying again.
How to Take Care of a Newborn During the Night
Listen for Baby’s Cries
During the night, you'll keep an ear out for baby's cries. Like I mentioned earlier, babies can be noisy sleepers, so it's okay to wait a minute or two to see if baby is actually awake or just sleeping actively. Depending on the baby, I often wait until they're crying to respond, because then I know they do need attention.
Prepare Bottle, if Needed
When baby wakes up, if you need to go prepare a bottle, you can go do that so it's ready by the time you need it.
Pick Up Baby
As you pick up baby from bed, you can turn on the heating pad and place it on their sleep surface.
Change Baby’s Diaper
My rule of thumb, especially for newborns, is to change their diaper at each wakeup if it's been at least an hour or so. Newborns poop frequently, so there's a good chance they will have done so by the time you change them. As baby gets older, poops less frequently, and can more easily become alert during the night, you can let just wet diapers go longer, as long as baby doesn't seem uncomfortable, the diaper isn't overfull, and baby isn't prone to rashes. So, with your newborn, change their diaper and get them wrapped back up in their swaddle.
Feed Baby
Feed baby until they fall back asleep. If baby isn't eating much, you can move the bottle a little in their mouth or rub their arms or legs to encourage them to wake up a bit and eat more. After they eat, burp them as necessary. Some babies burp, or need to burp, more than others.
Transfer to Bed
To get baby back to bed, turn off and remove the heating pad. Make sure the sleep surface didn't get too hot. Then lower baby down slowly, placing their bottom down before their head, and rock, pat, or otherwise use your hands to help baby get comfortable. Remember to always place baby to sleep on their back for safety.
Pumping
Keep in mind that if you plan on having anyone else feed the baby, or if you plan on exclusively pumping, you will need to pump during the night. This is to keep up your milk supply and prevent discomfort and issues from not emptying your breasts enough. You'll need to pump or breastfeed about every 2-3 hours, so keep that in mind when thinking about your nights.
How to Get Help with Nights with Your Baby
The nights with your baby can feel intimidating, but it will be okay! If you live in the Reno area, my Welcome Home package includes some in-person overnight postpartum doula support to help you get settled in those first few nights. I help families get to know their baby's cues, answer questions, and facilitate creating systems that support the whole family.
If you're not in the Reno area, you can look up support options in your area with the terms postpartum doula, night nanny, night nurse, or newborn care specialist. And don't underestimate the power of some daytime help! Having someone come take care of household tasks, care for the baby while you nap, or just listen to your thoughts and worries can make a big difference.
Before you panic and think you need a full-time night nanny, check out my other article: You Probably Don't Need a Night Nanny. The nights can feel hard, but they shouldn't be too bad, or at least not stay bad for long. If you're struggling with infant sleep, reach out to a sleep consultant to help you troubleshoot what's going on and how to make your nights feel easier. I recommend working with someone that has a holistic and developmentally appropriate approach and does not encourage any form of "crying it out."
I hope this has helped you feel more confident about caring for your baby during the night! To learn more about newborn care (and a lot of other topics!), check out my online class: The Recovering Perfectionist's Guide to Newborn Care.
Sending you all the good sleep vibes!
I wish you well!
Jenna
Providing calm, confident support for highly sensitive new parents
Jenna Cole is a Certified Postpartum Doula, Integrative Lactation & Feeding Specialist, and Certified Family Life Educator based in Reno, NV. Her goal is to help new families settle into parenthood and feel assured that they aren’t alone. As a highly sensitive person and mom herself, she breaks down topics so that other recovering perfectionist parents can feel a little more calm and confident.